Reality Bites by James A. Norton

It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend…

How about a family member? Funny how that quote by William Blake, famous English poet of the Romantic Age, doesn’t come out and address the pain of being betrayed by your own family. That’s because it’s not that romantic, and it’s certainly not a lost movement.

It’s part of the same old story for centuries now. The times change, but the people never do – that’s because it’s so easy for family – blood related or not – to be the quickest to inflict the worst kind of mental, emotional and physical abuse on other family members. They do it and sometimes they don’t know they’re doing it – and then there’s those sick ones who know exactly what they’re doing to others, they even thrive on it.

William Shakespeare knew all about it. Jesus Christ knew all about it. Jeffrey Dahmer knew all about it. You see the pattern here, right?

There’s great debate over what drives the kind of abuse that is borne from pure betrayal – but one thing that seems to prevail as a recurring theme is a sense of control over someone else. It goes deeper than just being a “control freak” in your day to day life. It’s about completely immersing yourself into what another person does, says, thinks, operates – pretty much everything that they do whilst awake – and dictating their perceptions, their feelings, their thoughts…it’s a pretty scary thing. And it usually does not end well for either party.

This can’t be simply pushed off onto the whole “you are a product of your upbringing” explanation either – even though they are sick and twisted in nature, which would initially suggest developmental origination – the people who perpetrate this kind of abuse make conscious decisions constantly in order to conceal, deflect, distort or deny their involvement. They are very aware of what they’re doing. Honestly, in a word, they are “evil.”

So some people like to talk trash about betrayal, as well they should. Fact is, we should all look to ourselves before casting any kind of stones at others, especially when it comes to betrayal. Take stock in the things you have done and that you should have done better – maybe even make amends for those things that you have done to others that can still be forgiven – before it’s too late. It really is senseless to put yourself in a situation that you can’t come out of without serious mental, emotional and physical pain being inflicted upon you, nevermind what you did to someone else. It’s just not worth it. Unless you’re into that kind of thing, but that would be a whole other psychological issue for another time.

Better yet, try not acting like a complete asshole to others. It really is that simple. #GMK

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