Our Disgraceful Somerville Mayor Joe CURTAPHONY’s Shipwreck of Fools, But Is He Also On Drugs While On The Job?

By William Tauro

You gotta love how Mayor Joe Curtatone and his campaign of lost slimy rodents are focusing on myself and the Somerville News Weekly instead of focusing on the candidate that’s running against him.

You gotta love it because we know that they’re reading our paper because every time we post something on our news site they almost instantaneously comment about it!

So we’d like to take this opportunity and thank them for helping make our ratings quadruple and that they keep on reading our paper but they might just learned something other than their fake news columns and the ass kissing of Mayor Joe!

Every time we post our true facts about Mayor Joe Curtatone and the corruption that surrounds and leads back to him and his administration, they always come out with more fake news and fake fictional Facebook characters to divert the situation and to deflect the readers from reading the truth, but we won’t let that happen we can assure you of that!

Here’s the fun part of all of this is that Mayor Joe Curtatone aka Sniffles Bug-eyes CURTAPHONY and Crooked Stan his lopsided DPW Commissioner have always been able to have a grip on everyone and everything that got in their way during any campaign.

Unfortunately for them that they do not have a grip on me and their not sure what I’m gonna say or do the next day and to be honest with you all, shit, I’m not even sure what I’m going to do the next day myself because I can be very unpredictable.

But I can assure you that I’m not going to let up on Curtatone and I will continue to expose everything crooked and nasty self serving thing that he’s done and every move that he makes.

As a solemn pledge to the taxpayers and residents of Somerville, I will expose every little detail that he, his administration, Crooked Koty, Mike Brown the Cowardly Lion and the evidence covering-up by the Crooked Police Captain have committed over the years until justice is served in these clowns are Indicted and put behind bars.

These clowns have even gone as far as created their own fictional Facebook sites full of Fictional Facebook trolls and now a fictional news page to fool the readers but yeah got a love it because desperate people do desperate things.

Too bad his DPW guy that’s hosting the fictional Facebook site along with the other ragtime newspaper out there don’t utilize it for something good like bettering themselves and adding some pages of useful content to their lame useless out-of-touch rag.

By the way, was is it just me or did anybody else notice the fried-egg-sized-bugeyes on the Mayor during the press conference this past week?

Maybe The allegations of his drug habit kicked in again and he indulged in a few snappers to get himself in the mood to be on TV that day who knows.

But you certainly can’t deny he was on something again that day, right? Just look at his photos of last Tuesday’s press conference

Maybe we should rename Joe’s new nickname from “Bug-eyes” to  Joe Aka “Sniffles”?

For God’s sake he should’ve definitely looked at himself in the mirror before he came out in front of live cameras looking like Tony Montana on the movie “Scarface!”

Take a good look at the photos yourself there’s no denying there’s no Photoshop it’s him it’s Bug-eyes Joe Sniffles himself. He’s even continuously touching his nose the clearing of throat like he always does signs of a typical frequent cocaine user.

We are also being told now that there is allegedly an old police arrest report of Mayor Joe during his younger days when he supposedly got caught with cocaine by the Somerville Police.

We are leaving no stones unturned and frantically searching for that alleged well hidden original Somerville Police report and we will bring it to you and post it live for you to see it for yourselves once we uncover it.

But you gotta definitely hand it to that cameraman who caught that Kodak moment of Sniffles with a look like he is in “spacial disorientation “stoned out of his mind.

Is there someway that we can order a drug test for him and get him booted out of office when we post his drug test results live on the air?

You really can’t make this shit up about Mayor Joe because it’s there and it’s proof this stoned- bug-eyed guy is definitely a leading candidate to be “Buffoon of the Century!”

He has even demonstrated himself to be a bigger buffoon than Former Registrar of Probate John Bounomo!

Joe Curtatone was also featured in a Somerville Times article a few years back when he was rushed to the Cambridge City Hospital by then Former Somerville Police Chief Bob Bradley for a serious problem with his nose.

Rumors have it that he was rushed to the Cambridge Hospital and not Somerville Hospital to stay out of the limelight so nobody would pick it up and contribute his nasal emergency, a deviated septum him and his symptoms to his alleged prolonged cocaine drug use.

You could check out the Somerville Times articles right here by clicking on this link below:


Just read this episode out of out September 26th article “THE GRAND THEFT OF SOMERVILLE, THE UNTOLD STORY” in an exclusive interview with Former Somerville Police Officer Joe Voutour about Mayor Curtatone’s illegal druguse allegations that we remind you that he nor his Former Mayoral Aide Mike Buckly never disputed because its true!


I now tell a story about what I witnessed at the Somerville DPW Christmas Party in 2005. The party was held in the Building shop and was a normal celebration that we have all been too in the past.

Mayor Curtatone and Aide Buckley were also present. As the Mayor was seated at a picnic table, playing cards and smoking a really fat stogie, I watched Buckly (who was standing a few feet to the side), look at the Mayor, and gave him the heads up nod. The Mayor & Buckley then walked out of the building shop and walked away in the DPW yard, and headed behind a DPW Truck.

I was watching as both of them snorted lines on the side of the truck, ya that’s right, probably Cocaine! They returned inside to the party and the Mayor sat back down and resumed the card game. I stood opposite him and waited for him to look up at me and into my eyes, which took a while, as I think he was trying to conceal the condition of his eyes.

Finally, after a spell, he looked up and I observed his eyes. They were all glossy and glittering, with little tiny pupils, all classic symbols of someone on drugs.

I then walked over closer to Buckley, got a look at his eyes, and BINGO,,,, his eyes were the same as the Mayors,,,all glossy/glittering with pupils so tiny, it was obvious to me that he too was under the influence of drugs.

I had suspected this condition earlier, as during numerous staff meetings, all parties would be sitting at the conference table waiting for the Mayor to enter, and when he did, the room just went quiet.

The Mayor would come in, eyes down, never looked me or anyone else in the face, never has any smile and always rubbing his nose and clearing his throat, which is another classic give away of someone on drugs.

At this point I also was aware that the Mayor had a major nose bleed in his office, and that Acting Chief Bradley, who was hoping for the permanent job, drove the Mayor to the Cambridge City Hospital Emergency Room.

And I had to wonder, why in the Hell would he go to Camb City, when the Somerville Hospital was right down the street. The answer is very obvious, he wanted to conceal this event from anyone in the city.

It is my understanding that he was treated for a Deviated Septrum,,,which is very common among anyone that snorts too much up their nose. I was convinced that the Mayor was a heavy cocaine user,,,and he was my boss, and the Mayor of Somerville.

I later reported this Somerville Police Sergent Dan Cotter, Detective Neil Brennan, John Gannon and Bob Collins. Dan was the cop in charge and he didn’t do any follow up on this, as he was still listed on the promotion list. Another  matter that was swept under the rug by Cotter! I would like to remind Mayor Curtatone that if he should’ve looked all around and behind his back at the time when he was doing drugs, that I was watching him the whole time!)

When you really think of it, this is a very serious situation as much all the way to unfortunate because this guy had a promising future. If it wasn’t all for the corruption and selfserving-sellfdealings of helping himself to anything he wanted that belong to the taxpayers of Somerville in his years of in office he would’ve been an awesome mayor.

He actually stole all our hearts until we have uncovered every little detail what this mini Al Capone and his crime family of misfits has gotten away with.

This paper will also be offering a $100 Mount Vernon Restaurant complete scrumptious lobster dinner gift certificate to the first person that can deliver us a complete good quality cell phone video of Mayor Joe Curtatone’s concession speech yielding to winning candidate Payton Corbett after the election that night on Nov 7th also showing a glimpse of all the hacks in the crowd listening to it!

It is our prediction that Payton Corbett will win this election by a landslide.

This will be an historic long awaited moment and we don’t want to miss one minute of it and of course will bring it to you online as it happens on our news site!

We can’t wait to say “Swamp Drained Mission Accomplished!”

6 thoughts on “Our Disgraceful Somerville Mayor Joe CURTAPHONY’s Shipwreck of Fools, But Is He Also On Drugs While On The Job?”

  1. Don’t forget his crack head coked our brother cosmo, his drug addict niece Mia and his drug fueled sister in law Barbie. There all drug addicts and can’t wait to see the day they are all in jail.

  2. Isn’t John “Sticky Fingers” Buonomo doing “agricultural work these days? I heard that he is working on the “farm” or something.

  3. He also stated when my cousin Lou Remigio was in the hospital that he has been by his bedside. Noone saw him there maybe once. The Somerville Police department were there for my family. Not him. I’m so thankful for the Somerville Police department who showed our family a great amount of support, love and caring.

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